I caught a plane to take me away
For my holidays to somewhere far away
I going there with hope in my heart
And a return ticket for two.
Off to Paris – to find a wife
A woman to last me the rest of my life!
Off to Paris – to tie the knot
A wallet full of cash: a good chance I got!
Off to Paris – now’s my time
A genuine marriage I want, free from crime
I met my date at a trendy bar; we starting drinking early: things went too far
Rolled out of a club, about half-past two –
Hailed for a cab: she needed the loo
Back inside she needed a hand –
It was all quite embarrassing and not what I’d planned!
She finished the deed, I handed over her cape –
Next thing I know, she’s shouting ____!
Went to Paris – to find a wife
A woman to last me the rest of my life!
Went to Paris – to tie the knot
But accused of assault: that’s what I got!
Now I’m in Paris – doing time
A marriage I wanted, free from crime!
{Brodge}
Haha-haa… Haha-haa-eurghh
{Screams}
Locked up for 48 months for a crime I didn’t even commit!!!
My Visa ran out a week into my stay - the English Embassy don’t care as in their eyes I’m a criminal!
There’s no way of me even getting home now unless I get onto the back of a train… or swim
Well blast, maybe swimming isn’t such a fantastically bad idea I mean it’s only a short stretch of water right? Hell people swim the channel for fun nowadays so screw it I’ll just do that – stiff upper lip and all old chap – I’M GOING TO SWIM THE CHANNEL!
Paris persecution – it’s all a lie
Paris persecution – live or die
Paris persecution – it’s a good job I can swim
Paris persecution – marriage is for fools…
Bob Heart & Jonty 'Jazz' Bagshaw, from 1986-1989 were The Bob Experience. Their debut album (featuring drum programming by Bill Pippen) was remastered by Heart in 2012. RIP Jonty. Bill & Bob